The Light Side has come under significant fire in mordern times, despite its true purpose of "Guarding of Peace and Justice." Many believe, probably due to Sith indoctrination, that this could just be bullshit for "Defenders of Big Business and the Oil Industry." This could explain why the Jedi Temple is on the wildly industrialized planet Coruscant, and the Sith live in ghettos like Cleveland. Bickering on both sides has sparked off many Holy Wars, like the Crusades and as detailed in the six part documentary Star Wars. The Light and Dark sides cannot coexist side-by-side, not even in Detroit. In the climactic ending of the book, Sith Lord Darth Maul returns Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn's bike. In this analogy, the Force draws upon the age-old battle of 'The White Man Repressin' against 'Nigga Stole my bike.' "Paradise Losticus," of ancient, unknown authoring, is the most vivid and accurate account of the religious turmoil within the Force. This mystical third side of the force is the best part of the force.Īn often-used explanation of The Force consists of Light and Dark sides of a spectrum, or, in computing terms, 256-bit values of RGB locked together.
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If people choose not to convert to the Sith, the Sith use the Dark side to throw barrels, pipes, man hole covers, and freight trains through people's front windows or trap them in Force-fields until they can be used to make a rather fuckish shade of Soylent Green.īesides the Light side of the force, and the Dark side of the force, there is also the Quail side of the force. In the modern era, Many Sith were converted by door-to-door Force-marketers, a practice which is currently being aprised by the Supreme Court. However, many agree, except for those fascist scholarly types, that the Sith did not murder Jesus for religious reasons, but instead stood in the way to the creation of The First Galactic Empire as ruled by, then, Pope John Paul II. Many religious scholars blame the Sith, or the Jews, either way, for the murder and crucifixion of Jesus after Jesus balanced the Force. The second most Holy day of the Jedi Order is May 4th, colloquially recognized as 'May the 4th Be With You' day. The earliest recording of The Force is when Moses crossed the Delaware. The Jedi Order has come under some severe scrutiny since a number of Padawan molestation cases during training in the Outer Rim territories. While spending a number of years getting shot by remote droids, young Jedis in training learn about Jesus and his works, and the apostles, who were the first Jedi. Boys and girls who show marked skills with the Force are granted training at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, where they learn Jedi skills, included amongst the many: lightsaber fighting, moving stuff with your mind, and convincing people these aren't the droids they're looking for. Jedi training in the Presbyterian faith under Britney Spears (an anagram of Presbyterians) is a strenuous and ancient ritual. It is for this reason that many Sith have met their untimely demise falling down shafts and electrocuting things as their dead ass falls. The Dark Side, of course, is a double-edge sword, or more accurately, a red lightpaper: it can cut the shit outta yo hands unless you hold it the right way. We learn early that the Jedi manipulate small bits of The Force by controlling their emotion, waving their hands around in odd and nondescript ways, and moving junk around via telepath Soon, we encounter the Sith, pimps of the Galaxy who use the Dark Side of the Force for to fulfill their passions for beer and hookers, gambling, and unlimited power. During the filming, Lucas resided with and studied a small group of Jedi Catholic monks who police and protect the Galaxy in accordance with the Gospel description of Jesus' work. Dark in his aforementioned documentary Star Wars. In the essential melodrama of Force-wielding, George Lucas uncovers the struggle of Light vs. 11 The Force and The Prisoner of Azkaban.6 The Force and How Other Forces which Affect The Force affect the Struggle in the Force.
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